I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Four minutes until I can fart!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh god it's open bar.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
