Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
