is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize