At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
