Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to calm my uterus...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
