party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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