haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
