i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Never underestimate the power of titties
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
