Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
