Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im six kinds of drunk right now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
