those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
