I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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