i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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