Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
