I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
