You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
