I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
