In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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