kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
