I cockslap morals
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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