Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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