Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
