He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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