Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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