Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
