Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
