The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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