you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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