wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
