I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
