Yo dont text me then not text me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
