he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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