WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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