do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
