I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
