i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
honey bunches of taint.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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