How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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