I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
