Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
