It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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