I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
