ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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