I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
