Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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