Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
