I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
