There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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