So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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