Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
