Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sacagawea was the original milf.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
