So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
